Remembering “Choti”

We heard the shocking news today that one of our closest friends, Punam (Choti) Puri, based in New Delhi, had died from Covid-related issues. The sad news came from Asha, her older sibling. Both sisters have been our dear friends for many years and it is hard to think of one without the other. 

All Things French!

We met Asha and Choti at the Alliance Française soon after college. Like Lorna and I, they were crazy about all things French: not just the language, but also culture, cuisine, couture!  

Both went on to become completely fluent. Asha taught French studies at JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University) and Choti (for a time) at the British School. Neither wanted to be hemmed in by boring office jobs or mandatory “9-5s!”  They were sought after as translators and writers and were involved in all kinds of advanced academic projects. 

We used to remark on their excellent accents: French, English, Punjabi, Hindi! One did not impinge on the other! That’s quite a feat in modern-day India!

My brother Leslie and his wife Kathy recall bumping into Choti in 1989 at one of Delhi’s historical landmarks, the 13th century Qutab Minar.  She was leading a group of French tourists! That’s the kind of person she was: interesting, surprising, eclectic!

Left-Liberal Secular Politics

Like other Indians of the post-Independence generation, we shared a kind of unspoken short hand: left-liberal secular politics, Westernized education, English-speaking homes. I remember open-ended political discussions that went on for hours — one did that kind of thing in Delhi then! We’d meet again after a few months and pick up seamlessly from where we left off, solving the world’s problems!  Like us, they came from a background of strong Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru loyalists. Again, like us, the current dispensation caused them dismay! 

 

I remember visiting them many times at their sprawling Greater Kailash home near the M Block market. When I worked for the European Union, we organized several late evening “aloo puri” picnics on the India Gate lawns, often accompanied by singing, and (around midnight) gorging on cassata ice-cream from local vendors!  After the picnics, nearly a dozen of us crowded into their Maruti van, and Choti drove us safely back. 

She had a lovely personality and a genius for putting people at ease! The last time I met them was in December 2017 at the Hilton in Green Park but that was a short visit. We had a longer more memorable visit in 2014 when Lorna and I stayed with them. 

Fond Memories!

I recall the four of us (Asha, Choti, Lorna, moi) doing fun excursions: a walking tour of Lajpat Nagar that ended with a nostalgic visit to our childhood home in Vikram Vihar; a trip at dusk to the historic 15th century Lodi Tombs and Gardens that were awe-inspiring; and a journey to Connaught Place in the “ladies coach” of Delhi’s rather swanky metro, an activity that we wouldn’t have dared to do on our own! 

There was also a memorable dinner at that wonderful colonial relic, the Gymkhana Club, hosted by Asha and Choti. We spoke about how we’d all come to Davis Cup tennis matches at the “Gym” many years ago in what seemed like a bygone era!  Fond memories!  

I remember meeting their dad. Tall and distinguished looking, he had chaired the International Commission for Control and Supervision in Laos. The job of the Commission was to report on how peace agreements and protocols were kept after the Indo-China War. As a “freedom fighter” he was also closely associated with Indian leaders, Gandhi, Nehru and Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan. 

Their mother, a medical doctor, was always warm and welcoming. We had a running joke between us: she would say to me in Punjabi, half in jest: “please help find husbands for my girls” and I would say “Aunty-ji, If I could, I’d find one for myself!” The girls would blush, especially Choti!

For many years, both sisters spent time teaching poor children in their neighborhood to read and write. We attended one of these classes with the kids reciting their multiplication tables and nursery rhymes!

“She knew her time had come”

Both Asha and Choti had been fully vaccinated against Covid, but this was the time when the Delta variant was playing such havoc in India. There were numerous breakthrough cases among the vaccinated — in India and the U.S.  

Asha said that both of them got Covid in April-May. Choti never fully recovered, suffering from brain fog and severe depression, including stark personality changes. She was no longer bubbly and smiling; she kept to herself and wanted to be left alone.  

“She knew her time had come,” said Asha. There was a sad finality to that sentence. 

Ludi Joseph

Washington, D.C.

October 20, 2021

“Choti” is a North Indian term for “younger sister.”

“Aloo Puris” are wheat pancakes stuffed with spiced potatoes, a picnic staple popular in North India. (Those were my non-gluten-sensitive days!)

“Freedom Fighters” were men and women who participated in India’s struggle to throw off its colonial yoke and become self-governing. 

Photos from Facebook and my archives:

Choti and I at the Gymkhana Club, 2014

Choti (far right) next to Asha (blue shirt), Delhi 2018.

Choti seated with a friend, 2019.

Teaching Neighborhood Kids, Lorna & Asha standing, far right, 2014.

Excursion to Lodi Tombs at Night, 2014.