Remembering Uncle Phil!
We lost my youngest uncle Phil Soares on April 15. The day was both Good Friday and Passover and, some might say, perhaps an auspicious day to go.
Monsignor Edward Wetterer, now retired — who used to be with St. Michael’s Parish in Flushing, NY and knew Phil well — wrote in a text to my mother, “Dear Evelyn and Family, Your brother Phil has a special place in my heart. Good Friday: what a beautiful day for his passing from this world! He’s in good company. Blessings, Monsignor Edward.”
The Dashing Young Man from Das Island!
My earliest memories of Phil are of a dashing young man who visited us when we lived in India. As school kids, we were intrigued with his yarns and tall stories! No women were allowed on Das Island (in the Arabian Gulf) where he worked. So, while staying with us in New Delhi, he made up for lost time by meeting up with his many, many girlfriends!
I remember this pair of stylish cat-eyed sunglasses he gave me. I have a picture (see below) of Uncle Phil and I standing together in bright sunlight in our Lajpat Nagar “compound” (courtyard). I was all of 9 or 10 years old, in white shorts and tee, wearing said sun glasses, and feeling oh-so-proud!
Phil was always the life and soul of the party! He had a quip and a joke about everything. Even when he lost his sight to glaucoma, he hardly missed a beat! He was my singing and often my ballroom dance partner at Soares family gatherings where we always initiated the “singalong.”
Golden Oldies and Konkani Songs
We were continuing a tradition of singing Golden Oldies and Konkani songs at my aunt Laura’s house that was begun by my late Uncle Tony Soares who used to serenade my dearly departed grandmother “Mai” (Virginia Soares) with “mandos” (folk music) from her native Goa for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, birthdays, and other family gatherings.
I found this photo from April 2017 of an Easter gathering with the four Soares siblings and two in-laws: Phil, Laura, Mum (Evelyn), Rev. Msgr. Nicholas, Aunty Blanche, Oscar — all smiling, all looking happy! Now a key member of that generation — one of the “intrepid six” — is sadly gone!
We will miss you, Uncle Phil! It's time to rest peacefully! We celebrate you, always!
Ludi Joseph
New York
April 21, 2022
Note that much of the above text was read aloud at Phil’s funeral service on April 20, 2021. As a tribute to their dad, Phil’s daughters, Lynette and Joan, did a great job organizing the Mass, committal service, and lunch reception. It was very well done, right down to the Angel mementos! See family pictures below.
Soares Siblings: Phil, Laura, Nicholas, Mum at Monsignor Nicholas Soares’ 2014 Golden Jubilee, Staten Is., NY |
Soares Siblings & In-laws, April 17, 2017: Blanche, Mum, Fr. Nicholas, Oscar, Phil, Laura |
Funeral Mass, April 20, 2021, St. Michael’s, Flushing, NY With Monsignors Nicholas Soares and Edward Wetterer |
At the Lunch Reception, April 20, 2021: A. Blanche, Oscar, Fr. Nicholas, Laura, Mum |
At the Lunch Reception, April 20, 2021: Laura, Mum, Lorna |
Father’s Day, 2021: Phil with his son, David |
Joan Soares Gangaram, Manhassat, NY, April 23, 2021:
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ludi! What a wonderful tribute! Love the pictures, fond memories and good times to celebrate my dad’s memory! Thank you for sending and hope to see everyone soon!
Thank you Joan! Appreciate the comment. Yes, we will see you next month at the Mass.
DeleteRamesh KT, Bangalore, India, April 23, 2021:
ReplyDeleteVery touching! Thank you Ludi for sending me the blog. Great loss! My heartfelt condolences to you.
Hi Ramesh - I appreciate your comment. Thanks so much for sending it.
DeleteTrish Dew, Washington, DC, April 23, 2021:
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your uncle! Love the pictures, especially the one of you with your uncle — and those sunglasses!
Thank you Trish! So kind of you to say so!
DeleteFr. Joseph Prince, Ridgefield, CT, April 23, 2021:
ReplyDeleteLudi,
My heartfelt condolences and prayers to all of you at the loss of your Uncle Phil. I’ll pray for the repose of his soul when I celebrate the Eucharist tomorrow.
It was a very good tribute to Phil! He must have enjoyed family and friends and good parties! The photographs say a lot about him and the close relationship you all had with him.
May he Rest In Peace.
Fr. Prince.
Thank you Fr. Prince! It’s very kind of you and I appreciate your comment very much!
DeleteThat's a beautiful tribute. Ludi. You captured everything that was great about Phil, particularly his sense of humor and his propensity to smell the "scents" of women (my P.J. inspired by him - tells you how he is INIMITABLE)! R.I.P., Phil.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Mati! Appreciate your comment! Très gentille!
DeleteYvonne Baker, Wotton Under Edge, Gloucestershire, UK, April 23, 2022:
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this! You write so well, Ludi. You should write a book! X
Thank you so much, Yvonne! What a nice comment!
DeleteLynette Soares Menon, Mineola, NY, April 23, 2022:
ReplyDeleteJust read the blog as I finally had a chance to sit down. Beautifully written, Ludi. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on Dad. Great pictures. Will cherish these memories.
Thanks so much Lynette. Appreciate your comments.
DeleteLyn Ayer, Independence, OR, April 23, 2022:
ReplyDeleteWell done, Ludi! Some really cool memories. I love the pic of you with the sunglasses 🙂 and the family pics.
Lyn
Thank you Lyn. Glad you enjoyed the blog and the pictures! Those “goggles” were special!
DeleteDaniel Soares, Winchester, VA, April 23, 2022:
ReplyDeleteLove it. Great job, Ludi!
Thank you Daniel!
DeleteSusan Baumel, Falls Church, VA, April
ReplyDelete24, 2022
Thanks for sending these personal memories of your Uncle Phil. The service looks very stately and your mother looks great in the luncheon photo!
I agree with the Monsignor that Good Friday, or as they call it in the Middle East — Great Friday — and Passover, too, is a very spiritual time to pass and in the best company!
Still, it's sad and, gazing upon the snapshot of your youth and his (which is incredible), demonstrates that we are only semi-aware of the passing of time during our lives.
God bless him as well as all of your family - and his, which looks like the tribe of Abraham, almost!
I am including him in my prayers, along with you all.
Much love and many blessings as we come into Orthodox Easter!
Susan
Thank you so much for those kind words, Susan, and for remembering Phil in your prayers! I will let my Mum know.
DeleteTribe of Abraham! Yes, indeed! So appropriate!
Ludi.
Ludi, I apologize for “commenting” a second time. I feel, this is very IMPORTANT for me to add with regard to Phil. … I know Phil since 1995. Phil is one of the rarest persons who made me feel “at home” with him – free from thousands of divisive factors in modern-day state of humanity – gender, race, nationality, religion, class, caste, you name it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mati. Yes, it is an important quality. Phil had depth!
DeleteEvelyn Joseph, Flushing, NY, April 28, 2022:
ReplyDeleteLudi,
Thank you for the beautiful tribute to Phil. I can’t believe he’s gone! I will miss his weekly phone call serenades to me!
Love,
Mums.
Thanks Mum! He was one of a kind!
Delete