Remembering Uncle Phil!     

We lost my youngest uncle Phil Soares on April 15. The day was both Good Friday and Passover and, some might say, perhaps an auspicious day to go.  

Monsignor Edward Wetterer, now retired — who used to be with St. Michael’s Parish in Flushing, NY and knew Phil well — wrote in a text to my mother, “Dear Evelyn and Family, Your brother Phil has a special place in my heart. Good Friday: what a beautiful day for his passing from this world! He’s in good company.  Blessings, Monsignor Edward.”

The Dashing Young Man from Das Island!

My earliest memories of Phil are of a dashing young man who visited us when we lived in India. As school kids, we were intrigued with his yarns and tall stories! No women were allowed on Das Island (in the Arabian Gulf) where he worked. So, while staying with us in New Delhi, he made up for lost time by meeting up with his many, many girlfriends! 

I remember this pair of stylish cat-eyed  sunglasses he gave me.  I have a picture (see below) of Uncle Phil and I standing together in bright sunlight in our Lajpat Nagar “compound” (courtyard).  I was all of 9 or 10 years old, in white shorts and tee, wearing said sun glasses, and feeling oh-so-proud! 

Phil was always the life and soul of the party! He had a quip and a joke about everything. Even when he lost his sight to glaucoma, he hardly missed a beat! He was my singing and often my ballroom dance partner at Soares family gatherings where we always initiated the “singalong.”

Golden Oldies and Konkani Songs 

We were continuing a tradition of singing Golden Oldies and Konkani songs at my aunt Laura’s house that was begun by my late Uncle Tony Soares who used to serenade my dearly departed grandmother “Mai” (Virginia Soares) with “mandos” (folk music) from her native Goa for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, birthdays, and other family gatherings.

I found this photo from April 2017 of an Easter gathering with the four Soares siblings and two in-laws: Phil, Laura, Mum (Evelyn), Rev. Msgr. Nicholas, Aunty Blanche, Oscar — all smiling, all looking happy! Now a key member of that generation — one of the “intrepid six” — is sadly gone! 

We will miss you, Uncle Phil! It's time to rest peacefully! We celebrate you, always!  

Ludi Joseph

New York 

April 21, 2022

Note that much of the above text was read aloud at Phil’s funeral service on April 20, 2021. As a tribute to their dad, Phil’s daughters, Lynette and Joan, did a great job organizing the Mass, committal service, and lunch reception. It was very well done, right down to the Angel mementos! See family pictures below. 

Soares Siblings: Phil, Laura, Nicholas, Mum at Monsignor
Nicholas Soares’ 2014 Golden Jubilee, Staten Is., NY

Soares Siblings & In-laws, April 17, 2017: Blanche,
Mum, Fr. Nicholas, Oscar, Phil, Laura

Funeral Mass, April 20, 2021, St. Michael’s, Flushing, NY
With Monsignors Nicholas Soares and Edward Wetterer

At the Lunch Reception, April 20, 2021: A. Blanche, Oscar, Fr. Nicholas, Laura, Mum

At the Lunch Reception, April 20, 2021: Laura, Mum, Lorna

Father’s Day, 2021: Phil with his son, David

Lorna and I took Phil to Vote, Nov. 2, 2021

Phil with Family and Friends

Wearing the famous Cat-Eyed Sunglasses:
Phil and I in New Delhi, India

Rest In Peace, Dear Mr. Phillips!

Sad news about our former teacher Vernon Phillips who taught us at the Frank Anthony Public School (FAPS) in Delhi. I heard from his daughter Zoë Restorick that he passed away recently in Ottawa, Canada. “It’s hard to believe that he’s really gone,” she said.

Looking Back!

My FAPS classmates and I remember Mr. Phillips fondly. He taught us Geography in middle school, part of a Social Studies curriculum. He also taught English. I remember him being a wonderful teacher as well as a kind and lovely man! He and his wife Marjorie Texeira (also a FAPS school teacher) moved to Canada. 

He was handsome and she was pretty! As impressionable 12- and 13-year-olds, we were excited and dazzled by such a classic romance! Those were the days when we had our noses stuck in Mills and Boon romantic novels!

Fulfilling Career

I understand from Zoë that, after he left FAPS, her father had a long and fulfilling teaching career in Canada. He became vice principal of a school while her mother was the supervisor of several daycare centers for young children.  

Zoë posted on FaceBook, “He had the most contagious joie de vivre and made friends everywhere he went. And, as much as he loved people and animals, he loved his food! From Anglo-Indian cuisine to poutine, he loved it all! He loved to laugh, he never stopped learning, and he made us groan with his classic dad jokes!” 

Keeping Memories Alive!

Apparently, Mr. Phillips also liked Suji Halwa and Kheer  — that’s semolina pudding and rice pudding! I found Zoë just by chance (coincidence, really) while glancing at a FaceBook group, Anglo Indian Kitchen, where I saw a post from her saying that she was trying to keep her Dad’s memory alive by cooking the foods he enjoyed, such as Suji Halwa!  She mentioned that he’d recently passed. When I saw the name, I just had to ask: is this the same Vernon Phillips from FAPS in Delhi — and it was! 

More sad news! When I wondered what became of her mother, Zoë said “my Mum is still alive but suffers from Alzheimer’s and has been in a home for many years now.”  

Thankfully, Zoë also has great memories of her mother whom she recalls as always being “glamorous, well-groomed, and well-dressed… she loved to entertain family and friends and create mouthwatering feasts for us all!”

RIP

One expects that, with the passage of time, our former teachers will pass. Still, it’s sad when it happens. May Zoë and family find comfort in all the special memories! And, Rest in Peace, dear Mr. Phillips!  

Ludi Joseph

New York

February 16, 2022

Update from Zoë: “My parents divorced when I was three. They subsequently remarried. My mother is currently known as Marjorie Gordon. Our blended family includes a total of six siblings and 10 grandchildren. Dad was 81 when he died.”

Pics courtesy of Zoë Restorick. 

Vernon Phillips

Vernon Phillips

Vernon Phillips with grandson, Brennan

  

Marjorie Texeira

Sauce Making!  

I’ve been trying out some sauces (both sweet and savory — ‘tis the season, after all!) — and, even if I say so myself, they came out quite good, edible even! 

The word sauce is Old French, based on Latin salsus (meaning salted) and comes from sal “salt.” The French might indeed swear by their four classic sauces: Espagnole, Velouté, Béchamel, and Tomate — mine are more basic, more practical, more everyday!  

Classic Brandy Butter Sauce

The most fun one to make (and to eat, for obvious reasons!) was the brandy butter sauce which is ideal to pour over Christmas puddings, pies, or any kind of dessert. It is rich, sweet, easy to make, and best of all, traditional! 

Ingredients: 

1/2 cup unsalted butter 

2 cups milk 

1/2 cup flour 

4 tablespoons superfine sugar

1/2 cup brandy or cognac

1/2 cup grated zest from 1 orange

NOTE: I used half a stick of Horizon organic unsalted butter, Horizon organic 2 percent milk, self-raising gluten free flour, and a combination of Rémy Martin and Fundador Brandy de Jerez from Spain. Vegans can substitute with almond or oat milk and cashew butter. 

Melt butter in a saucepan over low heat, add flour, and stir quickly to create a smooth lump-free paste. Add milk, stirring constantly. The flour needs to cook for several minutes. Do not let the base of the pan catch or burn. Taste to ensure flour is cooked — believe me, nothing is as yukky as raw flour! Use a hand whisk to break up flour lumps, if necessary. Add the sugar, a little at a time, until it is fully dissolved. Finally, add the brandy and keep stirring. Cook another few minutes (always on low heat). Again, taste-test the sauce to ensure the flour is cooked!  Add more milk, if too thick. 

Serve warm over a Christmas pudding or vanilla wafers or ginger cookies! Delish! As you can see in the pics, we served it with thin slices of warm plum pud and pumpkin pie!  

If you’re feeling brave, add a dash of Grand Marnier or some other liqueur just before serving. Don’t try to flambé it — leave that to the showy chefs at the cordon bleu restaurants! Don’t risk serious burns! 

White Savory Sauce 

This is a basic white sauce that goes with almost any steamed vegetable — but we always do it with cauliflower!  My Mum learned it in high school in Calcutta (Loreto Convent, Entally) where she was taught by Irish nuns. I guess it must’ve been something that the nuns used to soothe palates after the heavily spiced Indian food!  The only other person at whose home we ate this sauce was Aunty Margaret (Baker, nee Mullins), a school chum of Mum’s. So it is probably Brit/Anglo Indian in origin!  Growing up in Lucknow and then Delhi, my siblings and I used to love it: white sauce over cauliflower — here you go!

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons unsalted butter 

2 tablespoons flour 

1 cup milk

Salt (1/4 tsp)

Pepper (2 shakes) 

Optional: 

2 tsp Cheddar Cheese Grated

1/4 tsp Crushed Garlic or Garlic Powder

1/2 tsp Fresh Chopped Basil 

1/2 tsp Fresh Chopped Parsley

NOTE: Again, I used gluten free flour since I’m gluten-sensitive. If vegan, use almond milk and cashew butter.  

Melt butter in a saucepan over low heat. Add flour and stir until the butter and flour are combined. Pour in milk, stirring as it thickens. Break up any lumps. Add pepper and salt. Add more milk, if too thick. Taste if the flour is cooked. 

Adding the garlic powder, cheese, and chopped herbs enhances the flavor, depending on what you are serving with the sauce. Like I said, we always steam a whole cauliflower to go with the sauce but you can also use potatoes, button mushrooms, green beans, asparagus, or even pasta.  

Savory Brown Wine Sauce

This is the counterpart to the white sauce and has many of the same ingredients except for the wine and broth. It tastes best when poured over roasted vegetables such as Brussels sprouts, carrots, parsnips, squash or roasted meat. 

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons butter 

2 tablespoons flour 

1 cup milk

3/4 cup red wine

Vegetable broth (1/4 cup) or 1 Vegetable Cube

Salt (1/4 tsp)

Pepper (2 shakes) 

Optional: 

1/4 tsp Crushed Garlic or Garlic Powder

1/2 tsp Fresh Chopped Basil 

1/2 tsp Fresh Chopped Parsley

Melt butter in a saucepan over low heat. Add flour and stir until the butter and flour are combined. Pour in milk, stirring as it thickens. Break up any lumps.  Add pepper and salt. Taste if the flour is cooked.  Add wine and broth and more milk, depending on how thin or thick you want the sauce to be.

Those with small children can omit the alcohol altogether or use smaller quantities — but it won’t taste as good! When we were kids, we often had an egg flip for breakfast on cold winter mornings when we felt a cough or cold coming on — with a teaspoon of brandy — with no after effects!  

The best thing about these sauces is that they can be done ahead of time, refrigerated, and then reheated when the pudding or pie or roast — that you’re serving it with — is ready. For longer storage, pack sauces in airtight containers and freeze; when ready to serve, reheat on stove top on very low heat. 

Hint: To add richness, add two tablespoons of heavy cream or half and half before serving. Keep stirring to ensure the sauces don’t clump or congeal!  Beware the heavily coagulated “floury” sauces — keep them light and airy!  

Ludi Joseph

New York

November 28, 2021

NB: Brandy de Jerez comes from Andalusia, Spain. “Jerez” is another word for sherry and the region is famous for its sherry production.

 

Classic Brandy Butter Sauce 

Classic Brandy Butter

Steamed Cauliflower

Cauliflower with White Sauce

Making the White Sauce

Making the Brown Wine Sauce 

Natasha McCoo’s Russian Salad and Lorna’s Eggplant Pakoras!

Culinary expert and frequent recipe contributor, Natasha Garrett McCoo, has posted several amazing recipes on Anglo Indian Kitchen, a popular group page on Facebook. Mum, who is a huge Natasha fan, wanted to try the Russian Salad. Here we go with a few tweaks. 

Russian Salad Recipe 

1-1/2 cups Potatoes, diced

1 cup Green Beans, diced 

1 cup Carrots, diced

1 large Red Pepper, diced 

1 large Apple, diced

1/2 lb Green Grapes, sliced

250 gm Can Diced Pineapple

1 cup Heavy Cream  

1/2 cup Sour Cream

1/2 cup Mayonnaise

Large Salad Bowl to serve

Boil vegetables (each one separately) until they soften but remain crunchy. Cool and mix all ingredients well. Cover dish with Clingfilm and keep refrigerated until ready to use. 

Note that we used less sour cream and Mayo; the original recipe called for a cup of each. It’s a matter of taste.  

This dish can be made ahead of time — a day in advance — for a party. Steaming potatoes with their skins on and peeling them later adds flavor as well as nutritional value.

Background: Russian Salad (or Ensalada Rusa) can be found in restaurants across Russia and is traditionally served at holiday gatherings and birthday parties with local variations in many Eastern European countries: Bulgaria, Hungary, Poland, and Ukraine. It was invented in the 1860s by Chef Lucien Olivier for a Moscow restaurant called Hermitage. 

Lorna’s Eggplant Pakoras

Last week we went to an Indian restaurant in Queens, NY called Ayna Agra in Bayside, which turned out to be surprisingly good - well, everything except the eggplant pakoras (spiced fritters) which were a bust mainly because they used onion instead of eggplant!  So we decided to try these ourselves. Lorna is the chef in the family!  Check out her version:

Eggplant Pakora Recipe 

1 large Eggplant (best from Indian stores) - Sliced, but not too thinly

Gram/Chickpea Flour - 1 Cup

Rice Flour - 1/2 Cup

Turmeric - 1/4 Tsp

Cumin Powder - 1/4 Tsp

Red Chilli Powder - 1/4 Tsp

Hing (Asafoetida) - a Pinch

Baking Soda - a Pinch 

Cilantro leaves chopped - 1 Tsp (optional)

Salt to taste 

Wok (or Karai) to fry pakoras 

Cooking Oil

Mix the gram and rice flours well with a half cup of water and add other dry ingredients. Whisk to a smooth medium consistency without lumps. The batter should be a bit runny. Add more water if needed. Drop in the eggplant slices and coat well with batter. (I made the mistake of cutting the eggplant too thin - don’t do that)! When all slices are well coated, deep fry on both sides in medium hot oil. 

Use any neutral oil with a high smoking temperature. We used Filippo Berio Extra Light Olive Oil for Frying and Baking. Using a slotted spoon, lay pakoras on paper towels to absorb excess oil. (Do that to avoid consuming too much oil - your arteries will thank you)!  Pakoras should be crisp and evenly brown. 

Serve with hot spiced Indian tea as a snack or with rice and dhal (lentils) as a meal. A green mint or coriander chutney goes well with pakoras or even tomato ketchup!  

Try this recipe with Potatoes (Aaloo) or Cauliflower (Gobi) or even the above despised Onion (Pyaaz)!  I recall that Pakoras and Adrak Chai (Spiced Ginger Tea) were the go-to snack on rainy afternoons in Delhi!  Happy eating!  

Ludi Joseph

New York

November 6, 2021

Lorna and Mum in Charleston, SC, 2018

Russian Salad

Eggplant Pakoras

 

Father Prince Completes his Half Century!  

Father Joseph Prince, a second cousin on my Dad’s side, just completed 50 years as a priest — an extraordinary feat in any day and age but certainly in this one — and a major cause for a family reunion and celebration! In addition to his Golden Jubilee, Prince was also celebrating his Silver Jubilee as Pastor at St. Elizabeth Seton in Ridgefield, Connecticut. The parish was throwing him a grand party to commemorate the dual anniversaries and his lifelong service to the Catholic Church.

Since we were all fully vaxxed (Mum included), we drove up to Ridgefield, only an hour by road from Flushing, NY. We had sunny mid-sixties weather the entire weekend with a sharp nip in the air and the added bonus of viewing peak fall foliage: leaves resplendent in autumnal colors: flame, rust, scarlet, orange, yellow, gold.

Arrival in 1975! 

Prince, who studied at a seminary in Pune, India, was ordained as a priest in Coimbatore, Tamilnadu, in 1971. He had initially planned to travel to the Philippines to pursue a communications degree in mass media but dropped that plan when he couldn’t get a visa and decided on the U.S. instead. He was accepted at Fairfield University in Connecticut, arriving at JFK Airport, NY in 1975 with the kingly (princely?) sum of 100 dollars in his pocket, minus other resources, and no place to stay or work! That took courage! A kindly priest from Fairfield University arranged for him to stay free of cost with a group of Jesuits until he found permanent housing while attending school full time.

For the past nearly four decades, Prince has served in several different Connecticut parishes: St. Andrew’s in Bridgeport, St. Mary’s in Ridgefield, St. Peter’s in Danbury, St. Rosa Lima in Newtown, and St. Leo’s and St. Gabriel’s in Stamford. In 1996, he was chosen to lead the Ridgefield Parish and, during his quarter century at St. Elizabeth Seton, has overseen major renovations and additions to the building, including the installation of rather spectacular stained glass windows, donated by a parishioner.

Longevity and Success!

Prince attributes his longevity and success to his beloved congregation where he has close relationships with many families. He is humbled to have had the opportunity to officiate at milestone events in the lives of his parishioners: at baptisms, first communions, confirmations, marriages, and other sacraments.

A constant refrain when you speak with him are the notes of appreciation and humility he strikes. He said how “grateful, honored and humbled” he felt “by their love and affirmation” and gives full credit to his friends, his parishioners, his bishop, and fellow priests — including a “desi” mafia of mainly Tamil clerics who get together for Indian food every now and then!

The Golden Jubilee service was concelebrated by several priests. There was also a full contingent of more than 30 other priests seated on the side, a wonderful choir, and an organ.

Pastor Emeritus

Prince will stay on at St. Elizabeth Seton as Parish Priest until the end of 2021 and then transition to Pastor Emeritus. He hopes to have more free time next year to play “a bit of golf,” he said, but only after he has had knee surgery to correct a painfully arthritic knee. He considers himself lucky — only three other priests ordained with him are still living. 

We were fortunate to meet another cousin and his family, Nirmal Kumar, his wife Stella, and two girls, Reya and Sandra, also from Coimbatore who now live in Iselin, NJ. During our university days, the home of Nirmal’s grandfather “Uncle David” in Gandhipuram, Coimbatore, was a frequent and popular stopover and meeting place for many of our kith and kin!

We decided to spend the night before the big Mass at the Hilton Hotel in Danbury so the trip would be more relaxing — and Prince invited us all to dinner at the Rectory: to an elaborate Indian meal (loved the dhal!) he’d himself prepared; add serious cooking skills to his many talents! 

Sabbath Song

Prince is famous in my family for singing the Sabbath Song from “Fiddler on the Roof” (the Broadway play and film) at my sister Lorna’s wedding. I recall his voice being a velvety baritone — truly a memorable moment! I also visited him at St. Leo’s in Stamford and remember taking the Amtrak train all the way from Washington D.C. and being with his mother and family when they visited D.C.

When I told my pal, Lore, that we went to a fun get together to mark our priest cousin’s 50th, she wondered, “Is a priest anniversary party fun?” to which my response was “It actually was!” Her classic rejoinder, “Who knew priests could rock ‘n roll!”

It so happens that we now have Golden Jubilee priests on both sides of the family! Mum’s brother Rev. Monsignor Nicholas Soares of Staten Island, NY (formerly a Salesian in Mumbai, India) has also completed 50 years since his ordination during a visit to India by Pope Paul VI! Wonder if all that spirituality rubs off onto us lesser mortals!

Ludi Joseph

New York

October 27, 2021

Notes:

Fall foliage is a deciduous tree phenomenon (mainly East Coast), unknown in tropical climes such as South Asia. I think North America, Japan, and the Swiss Alps have some of the most spectacular views!

Pastor Emeritus is a title conferred on a retiring pastor by Church leadership and is a way of honoring him. 

By kith and kin, I mean my Dad’s brothers, cousins and their families. My Dad’s only sister, Lidwin — a nun — was the Mother General of the Presentation Order and invited Lorna and I to do our undergrad studies in Coimbatore.

Nirmal’s aunt Amala was in college with Lorna and I and sent us a lovely video greeting!

Prince at his Ordination, India, 1971

Prince at his Ordination, India, 1971

Prince at St. Elizabeth Seton Rectory, Oct. 23, 2021

At the Mass

At the Mass

Mass Program

City Official Confers Honor on Prince 

Nirmal, Reya, Sandra, Stella, Mum 

Fall Foliage

Fall Foliage

Kathy, Leslie, Moi at Lunch Party

Kathy, Mati, Lorna at Lunch Party

Mum, Leslie, Lorna, Moi